Wednesday, April 15, 2015

NaPoWriMo - day fifteen


wondering

once upon a time
i was with many women
(one would argue that being with more
than one is an embarrassment
of longing). once upon a time
i was caught
and that thudding in my chest
stopped
me in my tracks, spinning
suddenly into an uncertain future
but not before arguments
moved beyond bodies, beyond words.

once upon a time
i used words as currency
buying and selling and
trading my body for secrets
one more tool for seduction,
to draw you
to my side, in my bed, my arms,
“my heart”
enwrapped in the story of you
reflected in the eye
my gaze more or less
lovingly focused
on one part or another,
the field
of vision an opportunity
to fix you in my mind.

i cannot pretend to understand
what drew them
to draw near to me and surrender
their most intimate self
the desire to explore the edges
of a mystery
curiosity about another body,
what sounds are made
as you elicit surprise with your hands,
mouthing
the promise of communion,
a coming together
of body, soul, spirit full of wondering
about the moment
someone says stop. enough. i am full.
or empty.

A Pantoum for Whitman by Mark Lavorato - NPM15

A Pantoum for Whitman

And I heard a whisper saying: live, live
in the mountains reading Whitman.
So I set out into a moon-filled night,
to love, stepping deep through snowdrifts.

In the mountains reading Whitman,
wildly studying Leaves of Grass
to love, stepping deep through snowdrifts,
swirling with little change through the years.

Wildly studying leaves of grass
that sprout from the blue-white banks,
swirling with little change through the years,
feeling, somehow, that I was getting close.

That sprout from the blue-white banks,
haunting me in the way of perfect words;
feeling, somehow, that I was getting close,
I listened, as if for a remnant of him

haunting me in the way of perfect words.
So I set out into a moon-filled night.
I listened, as if for a remnant of him,
and I heard a whisper saying: live, live.

Lavorato, Mark. "A Pantoum for Whitman" Poet to Poet. Roorda, Julie and Elana Wolff, eds. Toronto: Guernica Editions, Inc., 2012. 63.