wondering
once upon a
time
i was with many women
(one would
argue that being with more
than one is an embarrassment
of
longing). once upon a time
i was caught
and that
thudding in my chest
stopped
me in my
tracks, spinning
suddenly into an uncertain future
but not
before arguments
moved beyond bodies, beyond words.
once upon a
time
i used words as currency
buying and
selling and
trading my body for secrets
one more
tool for seduction,
to draw you
to my side,
in my bed, my arms,
“my heart”
enwrapped
in the story of you
reflected in the eye
my gaze
more or less
lovingly focused
on one part
or another,
the field
of vision
an opportunity
to fix you in my mind.
i cannot
pretend to understand
what drew them
to draw
near to me and surrender
their most intimate self
the desire
to explore the edges
of a mystery
curiosity
about another body,
what sounds are made
as you
elicit surprise with your hands,
mouthing
the promise
of communion,
a coming together
of body,
soul, spirit full of wondering
about the moment
someone
says stop. enough. i am full.
or empty.
