420

i spent a decade high –
hence no tattoos.
i worked at a coffee shop
and a sandwich shop,
made one good meal a day
for myself, and got high.
 
most evenings i spent
with friends, or went dancing
just to feel the beat
inside my body,
to experience sound
as a cloud, or a fog;
to watch and marvel
at all the ways people
move their bodies.
 
even so, i miss it sometimes –
despite the blur of nights
with lovers, early mornings
wandering city streets,
i miss the buzzing of my skin
and the clarity of the moment:
how it didn’t matter if i was alone
as long as i felt alive.