when you
were first aware
of being
desired. when
someone
wanted to know
only your
body,
and the
pleasure
it might
afford.
how did you
respond
to the
weight
of that
gaze,
the furtive
glances?
did you
return that attention?
did you
confront it
unblinkingly?
did you
avert your eyes?
was there
shame? whose?
i want to
ask you
when you
were first aware
of desiring
another. when
you wanted
to offer them
all of your
body
and the
pleasure
it might
afford.
did they
respond
to the heat
of your
entreaties,
your
intended surrender?
did they
return your touch?
did they
act with boldness,
and possess
the land?
did they
avoid the altar?
was there
joy? whose?
i remember
what it was like
to be
desired, and how desire begets desire,
awakens the
soul one way or another.
i know
there is a desire fuelled by control,
and desire
stirred by beauty. i wish
i could say
i was always on the right side
of the
question. i regret to say i was not.
