desire

i want to ask you

when you were first aware

of being desired. when

someone wanted to know

only your body,

and the pleasure

it might afford.

how did you respond

to the weight

of that gaze,

the furtive glances?

did you return that attention?

did you confront it

unblinkingly?

did you avert your eyes?

was there shame? whose?

i want to ask you

when you were first aware

of desiring another. when

you wanted to offer them

all of your body

and the pleasure

it might afford.

did they respond

to the heat

of your entreaties,

your intended surrender?

did they return your touch?

did they act with boldness,

and possess the land?

did they avoid the altar?

was there joy? whose?

i remember what it was like

to be desired, and how desire begets desire,

awakens the soul one way or another.

i know there is a desire fuelled by control,

and desire stirred by beauty. i wish

i could say i was always on the right side

of the question. i regret to say i was not.