black friday

1. bookended by gardens, each hour of this day is the new suffering* 
2. bound by the promise of a new horizon, the different ways we kiss each other: 
3. blessing or judgement, even betrayal. we mouth our authority in silence 
4. banded together by despair or indifference. we know what we ought to do 
5. but we wash our hands of it, gather distractions and pass them off as gifts. 
6. buffeted, we storm forward. we mistake stumbling for dancing. 
7. bearing the weight of others, we lose our sense of direction. just choose a path. 
8. brothers and sisters will find you in this press of people and bear you along. 
9. breathe. you may yet find the words. you may yet find comfort. you may yet find righteous anger 
10. beyond this emptiness. find a way to clothe it and bring it into the light. 
11. bring it into the light. position yourself in the center of grief and hope. 
12. bind yourself to another body, soul, spirit – find fathers and mothers to father and mother. 
13. bury everything. it’s really not about you. do you know what you have lost? 
14. blanket yourself in the questions. the quaking heart. this tomb of not knowing the end.

* Bulgakov, Sergei V. Handbook for Church Servants. (1900).