a christmas wish

to friends and family both near and far, close or distant, in all your various circumstances - may you find peace and comfort this season, and may this coming year be one graced by a great love.

forgiveness

I

it was not at all
what I expected. nothing
really changed.
not then.

later, however –
later it was all
 
different. later,
there was recognition
of loss. the violence
of assumption
lost. something
we both took
from each other.

yours was the better bargain.


II

at that moment
all i felt was surprise.
that you didn’t stop
wouldn’t stop
when I asked, stop

i carried all that
unspoken
for years,
the weight
of that exchange
growing larger.
then forgotten.
or ignored.


III

i recognize the weight
of chains, what burdens
i carried forward.

i remember how sharp
the hook, how deeply
buried, sweetly disbursed.

this is how we share
and in this sharing
i carry it away.

all that waiting.

circling

ah, cavafy.
i must admit
to not liking you
too much --
all those feelings,
all that feeling
about feeling,
all that broad stroke talk
about Beauty.

beauty you say, and

i hear desire. no.
not desire: appetite. 

oh, cavafy.

such a consuming eye –
roving over all that young flesh;
the architecture of longing,
your Platonic lust,
the dust of loss covers
the furniture, the room
empty, the windows empty,
the cupboards bare.

no wonder this dance

tired you, the image
of an ideal lover looming
in your imagination,
held perfectly still
by memory,
pored over,
your heart
poured out
with nothing
to hold it.

untitled

wind

that magpie

chirp of squirrel

leaves rustling

my thoughts

tossed

wrestling

this quiet moment

close 

New Gods

New Gods

an experiment for Jack*

 

The moving hand appears!

 

          and scratches its way across the skin,
          etching its words in the flesh.
          behold. behold. behold.

 

The source gives us the irrevocable counsel!

 

          and now what shall we do?

          we hold that word in our small hands –

          it is too large for us,

          it does not fit in our mouths,

          we cannot compass it.

 

But it does not decide! The right of choice is ours! That is the life equation!

 

          such bombast! such proclamation!

          what pride encircles and draws us

          new gods made in the image of

          hopeful longing and fear.

 

Make us the door for him to enter – prepare for the word. 

          and is this word now a door?
          we are birthed through language,
          it adorns us and wounds us and wraps
          us in its embrace. shhh. wait.

Let your circuits carry the word – let it grow loud – until it reaches the winds of infinity!

          i shall. if i can bear the weight
          of promises. and prophecies. and singing.
          if exultation doesn’t shatter
          my voice, or break my hands.

          if I can have just one more day
          where your hand speaks to me.


* Jack Kirby, ground-breaking comic book artist for both Marvel and DC comics
      * lines 1-3 are from DC Comics’ New Gods #1
      * lines 4-5 are from DC Comics’ Forever People #1